I'm still waiting
by kiwi-messer
Summary: [songfic] Draco Malfoy stole Harry's victory when the Dark Lord was defeated. Hermione spoke out and lost everything, now three years later Malfoy Sr dies and the truth comes out. Can Hermione go back to the life she once knew and loved? Can she forgive?


She didn't regret it. Her actions were justified. So why did exercising her right to free speech lose for her everything. Her job, her home, her friends all gone. But it was worth it. She walked down the dark alley, shoulders hunched over, her gaze watchful. There were people out there waiting to get their chance at "she-who you insulted he who killed Volemort." How creative. Only she knew that Draco Malfoy was not the man that vanquished the evil lord. Harry Potter did but lost his mind in the process. As soon as Harry was done with the scum, Riddle, Malfoy Senior stepped forward and claimed battle victory for his son. Her frank out cry had been ignored until she had taken the drastic course of action, she gave an interview to the Quibbler entitled "Malfoy lied. The night He was killed; Granger's story." She even gave the quote "I despise calling myself a witch when scum like that can steal a good mans fame. He's just another Lockhart." Ha that had been the turning point, she was stripped of her wand and sent out into the muggle world, effectively exiled from her friends and Harry. Now three years later Lucios Malfoy had died and Draco spoke out about what really happened. The wizarding world now wanted her back. The owls were flooding in. It seemed every one believed her, really. She was torn.

Forgive, sounds good.  
Forget, I'm not sure I could.  
They say time heals everything,  
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,  
There's nothing left for me to figure out,  
I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying 

She could go back, back to the only people that believed her- the Order. But here she had a life, she could blend in with the crowd. It the wizarding world that wasn't likely to happen. Also she was still mad about the way they shunned her and exiled her for simply being right. It was all she had had at the time, even more so since the wizarding world contained her only family since her parents death.

I'm not ready to make nice,  
I'm not ready to back down,  
I'm still mad as hell  
And I don't have time  
To go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is  
You think I should

I know you said  
Why can't you just get over it,  
It turned my whole world around  
and i kind of like it 

Bu then another little voice said that that very family hadn't followed her. Dean Thomas, her boyfriend at the time had broken up her because although he loved her, he wouldn't give up his world for her. She was almost glad he had been killed by fanatical Malfoy supporters after her banishment.

I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby,  
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,  
It's a sad sad story  
That a mother will teach her daughter  
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.  
And how in the world  
Can the words that I said  
Send somebody so over the edge  
That they'd write me a letter  
Saying that I better shut up and sing  
Or my life will be over 

Hermione loved her life here, in the muggle world. She had friends, her job as a political historian, her cat and her home. She had built a life for herself away from magic, away from the world that rejected her. She was happy for the first time since Ron's death and Harry's incarceration.

I'm not ready to make nice,  
I'm not ready to back down,  
I'm still mad as hell  
And I don't have time  
To go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is  
You think I should 

She had made up her mind. Hermione Granger was staying. She would visit Molly and Arthur and their remaining children from time to time but she couldn't move back to the wizarding world. She couldn't forgive them. This was her life now. She had no regrets. She wasn't ready to make nice.

I'm not ready to make nice,  
I'm not ready to back down,  
I'm still mad as hell  
And I don't have time  
To go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is  
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.  
Forget, I'm not sure I could.  
They say time heals everything,  
But I'm still waiting 

**A/N **

**I loved writing this one because I fully supported the Dixie Chicks view on the Bush administration and the Iqai War. I still but their music and stand by their statement. If I was from Texas I too would be ashamed to have Bush from my home state. As it is I'm from New Zealand and I'm ashamed to live in a world where someone like Bush could be elected to head one of the most powerful countries, and not just be elected once either. **

**The song is "Not ready to make nice" by Dixie Chicks and I own nothing, including characters.**


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